To Whom it may concern

I should of made you wait,  

I was meant too, 

and I did for as long as I can remember. 

You see I let you in to my world but that wasn’t enough for you,

Pouring myself out until I was naked 

but

you wanted to be let in somewhere else. 

Let’s get this right though, 

Cause I remember telling you to wait, 

and you didn’t understand why, 

Something I could relate too 

because I didn’t understand why I’d have to wait hours for a reply. 

I’d open up to you and tell you how I feel,

then you’d push me away and say you got a headache 

but that headache always seemed to disappear when I was screaming your name.

Crazy that the only time I could moan 

was when it was your name.

Silly me – I lit myself on fire to make sure you was warm, 

then you wondered why I was burning and the flames seem to bother you.

How ironic. 

You told me you never really got feelings 

and wasn’t looking for a relationship,

but you seemed to want all of the perks of being one. 

I gave you it all and more,

No title involved.

I gave you that feeling 

and it might of not been in the right place

but it was enough to keep you running back. 

You’d have me round Friday night 

because your friends were all with their girlfriends,

but dawn would past 

And I wasn’t even good enough to receive a good morning text.

I wasn’t good enough to be taken out in public,

but in private you was all over me. 

It’s weird cause I loved the chase, 

but it’s like every time I got closer to you,

you’d push me away, 

as if I was some sort of disease.

I should of really ran away from you but you was a temporary distraction. 

The amount of people that desired what you had,

but I chose you,

wasted time,

energy,

feelings, 

and undeserved pain

I guess me letting your cold body touch mine only made me cold.

I Should of made you wait.

Like I was waiting 

waiting for you
 soo long that I no longer know what I am waiting for..

I suppose I just wanted you to be the person that I see in you.

but maybe my sight was unclear and I was seeing wrong.

I never loved with open arms before,

but I did with you. 

And you needed me so much, 

I stopped giving to myself.

but your pride would allow you to do without me,

if that meant you didn’t crumble,

but i guess it was okay for me to do it for you.

I waited, I did. 

Because even though you acted like you don’t need anyone,

I saw the serenity in your body language when we lay together, 

and you wanted it like I did. 

then when I wasn’t there you lived without me,

cause you are so used to going without, 

Or people leaving you 

That was never my intention. 

Your pride won’t let you say.

Or maybe I’m just seeing things I want to see.

I think hope was the reason I stayed.

no longer can I hold myself back

I can’t keep painting a beautiful image over all your excuses. 

How can you chose me, when I don’t even pick me? 

Here I was

Taking a bullet for someone who was wearing a bullet proof vest – this is exactly how I loved too hard.

Here I was trying to protect someone who didn’t need protecting. 

I should of made you wait the same way I waited. 

Just for you to be for me, what I was to you.

I waited, but today I stopped.

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